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June 03, 2006

Revenge of the Old Band Member

Take this Chris Fraser. We'll see who is the true metal rock legend in this band!

For those of you who don't know, I have just been kicked out of the band! Why, you might ask? Because I am a "finger picking sweet boy."

This news hit me hard. I mean, I've poured all of my soul into this band. Every sweet lullaby, every gentle guitar riff, every soft and smooth melody from my tender heart. I know I can rock with the best of them. I had to prove to my old band mates that I was what they wanted. I had to convince them beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was hard rock to the bone.

So... I got a stylist.

IanStylistAngry.jpg
Of course, she was not happy with my normal look. "You're more redneck than is natural," she said. "My grandmother could rock harder than you!"

IanStylistWorking.jpg
She got to work with a deadly efficiency. The beard hair started flying from my face.

IanCoolStyle.jpg
As you can see for yourself, it was no small transition.

IanSuperCoolStyle.jpg
We started trying new styles, and I started to look stunningly good, startlingly attractive, and surprisingly hard.

IanMustacheStyle.jpg
Who is the metal monster now? Axel Rose would fall at my knees, Van Halen would quiver before me. But still, we weren't finished. Only perfection would be acceptable, pure rock perfection.

IanFinalStyle.jpg
Finally we reached the goal. Take that Metal Mullitia. You have been outstyled, outrocked, and put in your place. And to you, my old band mates, I don't need your pretty little ditties anymore. I have rock to make.

Posted by ian on June 3, 2006 12:38 AM

Comments

i cannot stop laughing, that's hilarious.

very well done.

Posted by: jason on June 3, 2006 10:01 AM

If you really wanted to stay metal.. you should have stopped at picture number 3

that would have rocked

Posted by: jaysonjaz on June 3, 2006 10:29 AM

Great. Now you look younger than Shane. We're never going to get a bar gig . . .

Posted by: Xerxes [TypeKey Profile Page] on June 3, 2006 12:46 PM

ROFL!!! GREAT JOB LAURA!!!!! :-D way to go Ian!

Posted by: sha'uri on June 3, 2006 04:07 PM

hahahaha

so true about that Shane thing

Posted by: Poncho on June 4, 2006 12:35 AM

Hahahaha!!!

That's really good!

^____^

Posted by: Aom_rock_magical on June 4, 2006 01:00 AM

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