« On Hometown Heroes Again | Main | Funny GIFs »

June 23, 2006

The Saga of Oliver the Humanzee gets even stranger

More then a year ago, I made the fateful decision to post about Oliver the Humanzee. Since then, we've accidentally become one of the web's Headquarters for this controversial subject. Seriously, type "Humanzee" into Google and we're one of the first hits. We get LOTS of traffic this way, and in fact at least 2 fans say they heard of us because they were searching for information about. . . Oliver the Humanzee.

But now, the latest 2 comments on that page make me think the ante is being upped here. We've gone from mere curiousity to truly revolutionary disclosures, history itself being made on the pages of the Look Machine weblog. I will reprint them in this post, but you can also go back to the original post to read all the comments.

Dr. Shen Xia Yen said... Unusual baby with human and simian features was born to a Mongolian prostitute woman in special Beijing hospital in 2003. SARS story was government cover up to close down all hospitals to prevent story from getting out. This baby was kept a big secret by the Central Committee. Some doctors and nurse disappear. Rumor among physicians in Beijing is that father of baby is the chimp/man named Oliver. I saw this baby for only a few minutes, it looked like human with facial structure hints of a chimp. Baby had much hair and large hand/foot structure. Appeared very odd, but intelligent. The mother is good-for-nothing street whore claiming that she was paid big money by Russian man to have sex with special chimp. She says the chimp was like man in many ways and drinking much Beijinger whiskey. Who knows, maybe true? Anyway, baby is now in the Chinese Space Agency headquarters building located at #2, Jiang Tai Lu, Chao Yang District in Beijing not far from the Lido. This building is top security and very difficult to enter, but you can see windows from street where sometimes chimp like figure is seen inside reading newspaper and smoking cigar. Some CP big shots talk quietly about this chimp/man going to moon on Chinese rocket because too dangerous for human. This is possible because China always take safe approach to risky operations so not to loose face if failure.

Dr. Shen Xia Yen

6/17/2006 2:17 PM
Joe Shea said...
The notes above do capture much of Oliver’s public life, but only those elements specifically created by the government to gather open attention. There is much more to the story.

Hello. I am an older gentlemen now and while I prefer to stay in the shadows, my failing health and age continue to reduce the potential for reprecussions.

In the middle 70s, I ran an elite aviation/aerospace group in southern California for a little known agency. Located in the town of Upland, my team was quartered at a small private airfield called Cable. Our public front was that of a civilian aviation patrol club, ostensibly formed to conduct pilot training and air search, etc.

In the spring of 76, I was contacted through my channels and instructed to perform support assistance for what was then termed Operation BAKER BREAD. In short course, my team Squadron Two Five received ample funding, and received a liaison visit from the Op Controller who was known to me only as Richard. I meet with him in a small place on the Foothill Blvd., the Upper Crust, where I received my general tasking: design and test flight control and operating modules that could be understood and used by a chimp. According to Richard, the protocol was established as a Hot Sheet item, the desire being to preclude any further incident such as that which had befallen Gary Powers.

Over the months, my team commenced design and prototyping in a private hangar at Cable (N 2-4). We installed the controls and surrogate lifting surfaces onto a sled of sorts in order to permit a controlled examination of the operations without flight risk. In the fall of the year, I first met Oliver.

One our introduction, he merely strolled into our quonset hut, touched two fingers to his right brow without breaking gait, and helped himself to my package of Camel cigarettes. I was simply astonished. I had been working on a personal device, a machine designed to clean and polish Golf balls, that I intended to market to luxory hotels. Within several hours, Oliver had become familiar enough with the machine to safely operate it - he even adjusted a troublesome switch for the ejection/removal.

Over the winter months, we began testing our monkey piloted rocket sled. These tests occured far out in the desert; you may still visit the area now by driving 90 or so miles east of a small town called Halloran Springs. While the mechanical testing went well, I began to see the ugly side of Oliver - a side that perplexed and frightened me. A chronic smoker, he would slip into despondant periods during which he would drink alcohol heavily and show aggressive behavior. Several instances nearly shut down the project; one involved his brandishing an empty bottle and striking an assistant (it was poor old man Miller) over the head, apparently to take possession of his felt hat. As Miller lie in the sand, unconcious, I observed Oliver to exhault in the moment, wavering both limbs wildly and flashing his teeth while hooting. He wore the hat for several days, then filled it with his own urine and left it.

Still more troubling was his untoward sexual conduct. In another incident, a young support staff worker, Patty, fled the camp in a rush and did not return the following week. Months later I was to learn that Oliver had attacked her sexually, and that their union had in fact resulted in pregnancy. Richard arrived to discuss the matter and here revealed that Oliver was, indeed, a hybrid simian. Attempts to breed him to human females had taken place, with those results being termed horrible “pirates and ringmasters”. I learned only later that Patty had been spirited off from the area in order to deliver the offspring of Oliver. I was only to glad when testing was complete. I never heard another word regarding the Op or of Oliver until recently. The recent spate of news makes me wonder if it is all timed to coincide with the progeny of Oliver.

6/17/2006 2:19 PM

Posted by jason on June 23, 2006 10:51 AM

Comments

"The mother is good-for-nothing street whore"

hillarious

Posted by: jaysonjaz on June 23, 2006 01:52 PM

"Oliver was, indeed, a hybrid simian"

so disturbingly funny

Posted by: childish on June 23, 2006 05:09 PM

"Peta wants to kill the missing link!" That's the headline you are about to start seeing. The Texas Attorney General has given them permission to take over the Primarily Primates sanctuary that he is living in, and now they plan to euthanize any animals they see fit. They brought in their own vet who's making these decisions after only 3 days, while refusing to talk to the sanctuary vet who has much more experience with the animals and their various conditions.

Oliver is on the list because he has glaucoma and they feel this is good reason to kill him without getting a second opinion from any vets who do not work for or support Peta. Would they kill their grandma if she had glaucoma? Oliver still walks upright and even shares an enclosure with a lovely female companion, Sara. It could only be days before this great character is dead. Killed by humans who have exploited him all his life. Peta is playing Force them to get a second and third outside opinion!
GOD! Get the word out! Shake some cages!

Posted by: Oliver's friend on October 20, 2006 03:38 PM

The truth is that the former director of Primarily Primates, Wally Swett, kept Oliver in deplorable conditions in a cramped cage for years. PeTA didn't take over the facility, the Texas Attorney General did and handed supervision to a court-appointed receiver who is a certified wildlife rehabilitator. Oliver, far from being euthanized, was moved into a far more spacious enclosure 12/14/06.
Here is a great story on Oliver and the whole controversy from the Austin Chronicle:
http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/Issue/story?oid=oid%3A429272

Posted by: Grazier on December 15, 2006 01:52 AM

Hello. I am finding this webpages very interesting. My father returns to Spain after he is working in the USA for maybe 9 year about from the 1970 to the 1980. He always would say to us that his job is to help with the making of a monkeys ride in California and that is why he was to university in Seville. I was young still and one day when he is at home and the big pile of paper was falling to the ground and I let his lunches bun or roll fall. He said to me then Esteban, pick up that piece of papers and then wipe my bun but you are never to see the paper or to talk on it. After when is he died my mothers shows my fotografs you say pitchers of him in the deserts. There is also with him a girl who is pretty and then a monkey and an old man, My papa is laughing wide and this girl she is making smiles and has a many bottles of wines with her and the old mans is very mad looking at the monkey. The monkey is giving the girl the kiss on face and has cigarette.
This foto has also been funny and mysteory to us when father is gone. On this back it has some body written down "OLIVER" and his team, 1975. Who is running this circus??"

So now may be there is this now? Thank to you.

Seve

Posted by: Steve Mulacare on June 12, 2013 05:55 PM

Post a comment




Remember Me?

(you may use HTML tags for style)