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April 18, 2008

My Office Episode Beat Sheet

For my spec, my assignment this week was to beat out all the action for the episode. Here's where it is right now.

Show: The Office Title: Going Green by Jason Latshaw

SCENE 1 - TEASER - INT. OFFICE - DAY

Jim enters , a metal briefcase chained to his hand . Dwight asks what’s in the briefcase. Jim: “That’s confidential.” Jim’s cell phone rings (“24” ringtone). Jim: “I’m on my way.” Leaves.

ACT ONE

SCENE 2 – INT. RECEPTION AREA – DAY

Pam calls Michael. Ryan wants the agenda for their monthly meeting, been calling all day. Ryan wants to see it before meeting in person the next day.
PAM TALKING HEAD: Pam talks about her frustration because Michael sends all his calls from Ryan directly to her. And she never knows what’s going on. And Ryan gets annoyed at her.

SCENE 3 – INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE – DAY

Michael is distracted while talking to her on the phone. He watches “Cute Polar Bears dying” from “An Inconvenient Truth” on youtube. Michael ends the conversation. Tears in his eyes.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD: Michael explains that when he has a stressful day – like Ryan wanting an agenda for a meeting – he likes to do a google search for pictures of adorable animals to get him in the right frame of mind. Now the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

SCENE 4 – INT. OFFICE – DAY

Michael orders everyone into the conference room. “Turn off your computers first.”

SCENE 5 – INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Michael lectures. He asks them to view the tiny clip on his laptop, and no one can see it. (“You’re all going to have to crowd in closer because it’s so small.” “That’s what she said.” Jim: “She said that, to who? You? What were you doing?”) He’s shocked and upset to find out that this is news to no one, that everyone knew about “An Inconvenient Truth,” and that no one seems to care. Mentions that Phylis’s carbon footprint must be huge.
CREED TALKING HEAD: Creed cared about the environment until he had a revelation that all pollution is just fake and purposely orchestrated by world governments to distract people from the larger Illuminati conspiracy. Just like the Superbowl. And romantic love (or “and sex” or “and the g-spot” or “and oral sex” whichever is funniest).

SCENE 6 – INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Michael decides they must make pledges. He bought sneakers made of recycled materials. But everyone recycles already, (he doesn’t because it’s “annoying.”) Toby drives a Prius. (Michael: “That car is so gay!” To Oscar: “Which is why I want one. And why I affirm and respect the lifestyle choices it has made.”) Michael promises “real lasting changes.”
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD: Michael asks what kind of world it would be if you were walking down the street and you didn’t see Polar bears. That’s not a world he wants to live in.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

SCENE 7 – INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE – DAY

Air conditioner cranked up, Michael’s visibly cold. Print outs of polar bear pictures completely plastering the walls. Michael types furiously. Pam brings in more polar bear pictures from the printer. The pictures remind Michael “what’s at stake.” The room is cold as a tribute to the way things should be in the Antarctica. Pam points out there aren’t polar bears in Antarctica. Michael says, yes, exactly, that’s what they have to change. He types again. She thinks it’s the agenda.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD: Michael looks disheveled. He talks about being a creative person, a writer, and not being able to turn off his creativity when it possesses him. It’s like he just gave birth. And he has a message to deliver, like Moses. He’s like Moses, if Moses ever gave birth. And Ryan couldn’t expect Moses to write an agenda right after having a baby. Because Moses would be on maternity leave.

SCENE 8 – INT. RECEPTION AREA – DAY

Michael drops a 200 page tome on Pam’s desk, his environmental missive. Michael wants copies made for everyone. Pam suggests that it might be a waste of paper, suggests emailing it. Michael says that the environment is a higher cause – if they waste paper to save it then so be it. Plus email takes too much electricity because it’s “electronic mail.” After he leaves, Pam calls Jim’s phone. She disguises her voice, speaking in fake russian german hybrid.

SCENE 9 – INT. JIM/DWIGHT’S WORKSPACE – DAY

Jim puts it on speakerphone. Dwight listens to the Russian as Jim jots something down. Jim gets another mysterious call and leaves the room. Dwight takes the notepad and photocopies it.

SCENE 10 – EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

Michael rides up sweating and exhausted on a bicycle. He wears a really strange linen looking suit, and carries an enormous backpack. Everyone is gathered outside. No electricity in the office. Michael says he shut it off, to kick off earth friendly work habits. He asked if anyone read his missive yet. No, It was dark. He opens his pack, he’s selling Jan’s candles for $30 which is a discount. His suit is made of hemp, and he made it himself.

SCENE 11 – INT. OFFICE – DAY

Michael threw away all the pens and pencils and notebooks in the office because those things are wasteful (lead and toxins). No one can really do any work. Phones are dead. Michael charged his cell phone overnight with a solar charger. But it’s dead. Michael finds a typo in his missive (spelled “wasteful use of paper” as “waistful use of paper.”) and tells Pam to reprint all of them. She has to drive across town to do it because they have no electricity.

SCENE 12 – INT. TOBY’S WORKSPACE – DAY

Michael waits for Toby to open his desk drawer, which is packed with aerosole hair spray bottles. Toby receives a trophy made of trash for being the worst pollutant in the office.
TALKING HEAD TOBY: Toby points to his balding head. “It’s pretty obvious I’m the kind of guy who needs all that hairspray, right?”

SCENE 13 – INT. DWIGHT’S WORKSPACE – DAY

Dwight looks through huge crusty old volumes.
TALKING HEAD DWIGHT: Dwight can’t crack it based on any of the arcane cryptograph techniques he knows. It’s pig latin. “Pyso Howdownso: Arehousewo Oono Ommorowto.”

SCENE 14 – INT. OFFICE – ACCOUNTING AREA – DAY

Michael makes the rounds to see if anyone has read his missive yet. No one reads it. Angela gets a headache from the smell of the candles. She gets up to go home. Michael says she can’t, forces her to read the missive outside. Creed snips off a bit of Michael’s hemp suit and smokes it.

SCENE 15 – INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION AREA – DAY

Ryan and his David Wallace (CFO) arrive for their meeting with Michael. David asks Ryan what they’ll be discussing. Ryan says he doesn’t know.”You really need to get an agenda from your direct reports.” Michael ushers them into the conference room.

END OF ACT TWO

ACT THREE

SCENE 16 – INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

With all the candles, it’s better set up for a seance. Michael hands them his environmental missive. Michael and Dwight act out being a polar bear cub and mother with their home melting. Ryan starts to talk, but the Manager asks if he and Michael can be alone.

SCENE 17 – INT. OFFICE – DAY

Pam purposely speaks Pig Latin to Kelly in earshot of Dwight. Dwight insists she tell him what code that was. “Pigs, huh? I knew they were Communists. Or maybe... Liberals.” Dwight cracks the code, checks time, grabs night vision goggles from his desk, and bolts.

SCENE 18 – INT. WAREHOUSE – DAY

Dwight hides and watches a horribly over-acted showdown between Jim and a large figure dressed in black. The figure overcomes Jim. Dwight attacks. The figure runs off. Jim tells Dwight he has helped avert an international incident, but that they can’t tell anyone.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD: Dwight won’t go into details because they’re confidential but he knows he’s a hero.
JIM TALKING HEAD: Jim says Dwight’s feeling pretty good about himself, which is nice, he’s been going through a tough time. Of course, that wasn’t the plan all along.

SCENE 19 – INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Michael’s presentation chokes the David up. David really likes the way the Bonfire candle smells. Michael is commended for his environmental strategy and sells a lot of Jan’s candles.

SCENE 20 – INT. BREAK ROOM – DAY

Ryan waits. Kelly comes in. They stare at each other by candlelight. Kelly: “Remember the last time we gazed at each other by only candlelight? Remember what you promised?”

SCENE 21 – INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION AREA – DAY

Michael sees off Ryan and the manager after their successful meeting.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD: We learned that a good green policy helps, not hurts, business.
ANDY TALKING HEAD: Andy complains that he didn’t make one sale today.

Michael asks Pam to rent him a car to get home. Dwight offers to give him a ride. Michael doesn’t like to share a car with anyone, likes to be alone with his thoughts. Michael needs a bigger car, to carry the bike. Dwight reminds him the Avis at the train station rents that Hummer.

KEVIN TALKING HEAD: Kevin has a scratch on his cheek. He says Jim promised it would be safe, and it seemed like an easy twenty bucks. Dwight should really be a spy.

Posted by jason on April 18, 2008 04:52 PM

Comments

I laughed the whole way through! This is right on and hilarious!

Posted by: Chris on April 19, 2008 08:46 AM

drew and i love it-we feel like we got to watch another episode!

Posted by: jessica on April 20, 2008 09:59 AM

i love it!

Posted by: Jenna on April 22, 2008 04:59 PM

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