July 20, 2008
The Bifurcated Life
As I've been home and seeing more people that I love and are familiar, and hanging out in places that are the same, I've realized just how split my life has become. I haven't figured out whether it's good or bad that I love people and places and things that are thousands of miles away from each other, and will probably, from now until the end of my life, both thoroughly enjoy where I am and really really miss where I'm not, but I can tell you that it's very strange, and unsettling.
Part of me thinks it is very good. I have a ton of new friends and experiences and loves because of our move to California, things I wouldn't want to miss at all. Of course that is great! But while I'm there, I'm missing the trip to Fair Hill where you can spend the afternoon swimming in the creek and chasing down frogs, and the quiet easy get togethers with family and friends.
But then when I'm on the east coast, I really do miss the intoxicating goldrush that is California, where anything seems possible, where almost anything is possible.... where the weather is so perfect that you rarely even think about it. Where every day you meet someone who could get you on to the next level of your career. Where the idea of accomplishing your dreams are no longer faraway mirages but tangible and happening for people all around you. Where you drive with the ocean on one side of you and mountains rising up on the other. Where there are a ton of people all chasing the same dream, and you bond together with them in that pursuit. Where people spend a ton of the time outside, being healthy and active.
So here I am, split. It's just so weird, mostly because it's so different than most people's lives that I see around me. I'm still adjusting to it, but I think on the whole I do like it. It's exciting, and certainly not hum-drum.
* My kids are going to a drama camp starting tomorrow and they'll be putting on a play that I wrote a while ago. I just re-wrote it a tiny bit and it's really quite funny. It's always nice partially forgetting something you've written because you get to be surprised by some jokes in it all over again like someone else wrote it.
* Related to that, I was re-reading my Black Family script on the flight from LA and I was laughing out loud at some of the jokes that I had completely forgotten. The lady sitting next to me, who I had already told that I was a writer, asks, "That script must be really funny. Whose is it...?" I have to, somewhat embarrassingly admit. "It's mine." She observes. "Wow, you must really think you're funny."
* The short film shoot is coming together and looking like August 12-14th. I think we'll have a Red One Camera (look them up, they're a big deal) and it'll be a blast.
* I'm getting together with the very talented Brett Weber to discuss collaborating on a graphic novel. I bought 5 different graphic novels this week and looking over them I'm really excited about the possibilities of what we can do. I have some contacts so I think I can get it published, too... I'll be doing this for one of my already written scripts that I think won't be made as just a spec script but would definitely be purchased as a graphic novel (to make into a movie.) Isn't Hollywood weird?
Posted by jason on July 20, 2008 10:46 PM
First of all, I like your use of the fragmented sentence. I am a big fan of it.
Also, it sounds like you have gained more love, more good memories, more things to look forward to on both coasts, which is awesome.
Lastly, I miss our monday outings.
Posted by: jessica on July 20, 2008 11:54 PM
I was born and raised in Chester County, moved to L.A. as a teen, and moved back here at 34 where I've been ever since. The unsettled feeling has never left me. I keep waiting for it to get better, but it doesn't. Split is definitely the way to describe it.
Posted by: Anonymous on July 21, 2008 03:51 AM
Is split also a good way to describe losing the soccer epic tonight?
Posted by: paul on July 21, 2008 02:14 PM
There is a solution to your bifurcated life...you just have to learn how to be in 2 places at once! ;-) Let us know when you master it, Jase, because that skill would come in handy for others, too. I could be at home and with John when he is traveling for his job. Or, I could be at home and with Nathan. Or with Nathan in Basic Training and John in Germany (or wherever). I am pretty sure Jess would find a use for that skill, as well. You could sell it on e-bay (at a discount for family and friends, of course)! :-)
Posted by: kathiek on July 21, 2008 04:31 PM
do you think multiple personality disorder could help?
Posted by: jason on July 21, 2008 04:32 PM
It probably couldn't hurt! Are you trying to tell us something?
Posted by: kathiek on July 21, 2008 04:37 PM
Its really weird being a part of two worlds. I have felt split like that my whole life! At least its the same country. Its even harder when you are a citizen of two countries and love them both! I find I always miss the one I am not living in. Its a tangible feeling-like missing a person you love deeply. But how wonderful that there are places that you can connect with so deeply!
Posted by: Elizabeth on July 22, 2008 05:51 PM
I wonder if it will be easier once you get your break and your career becomes established? That way you aren't wondering what you're missing when you in the East cause you've already met and gotten the attention you need.
Posted by: Anonymous on July 22, 2008 11:36 PM
I don't think it'll be because of attention, but I do think it'll be easier once we have enough money to be established in houses that we own...
Posted by: jason on July 22, 2008 11:38 PM
Susan and I have felt split ever since we moved from Baltimore.. Thankfully its only an hour away, so its easy to spend time at one our homes and live at the other
Posted by: Jason J on July 29, 2008 12:47 PM
a couple family members of mine were at borders a week or two ago and overheard you talking about the graphic novel. they know brett and heard his name, but they had no idea who you were.
Posted by: snakeman on August 2, 2008 12:32 AM
wow good thing I didn't say how I really felt about brett, that would have been embarrassing!
Posted by: jason on August 2, 2008 01:06 AM
it's ok, they don't like him either.
Posted by: snakeman on August 5, 2008 09:07 AM