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February 11, 2009

My Own Little World

Often, when I am stressed or trying to figure something out, or overwhelmed by a ton of things that seem bigger than myself, I find that I like to make things smaller and within my control. For me, this often takes the form of video games, or computer games. The first time I realized that I did this was with a great computer game called Civilization, where you run a civilization from 4000 BC until 2000 AD and try to win wars, develop technology, colonize space... I would literally play that game all night sometimes. Because it was so nice to be in control of every little aspect, to have this whole world that I could understand and make sense of.

These days, my game of choice is Mario Strikers Charged for the Wii. it's a really arcadey version of soccer. And there are weeks that go by when I don't play it at all. Sometimes I do play it just for fun, but often I'll play it when I'm stressed and overwhelmed, or even trying to figure things out in my head.

If you want a clue for how things are going for me, let me just tell you that I've played 76 matches this past week.

Yep, I'm a little stressed. In fact, I've never been so hopeful and so worried about the future in my entire life. Weird, huh?

But the problem right now is the stress is actually taking a toll on my writing. As in, I didn't hit my page quota today because I was playing Mario Strikers, retreating to my own little world. I'm not sure it's a bad thing, really, but I have to kick myself back into shape in terms of churning out those pages.

Posted by jason on February 11, 2009 04:09 AM

Comments

Oh man, Jase--you never seem stressed! I am sorry things are overwhelming--have you made your list yet?

Posted by: Jessica on February 11, 2009 11:46 AM

Oh, jase.....Pop & I are praying for you! It's so unusual for you to even admit you are stressed, but I'm so glad you did and we are taking notice! May you have some peace and good news soon!

Posted by: Mom on February 11, 2009 11:48 AM

The true question is - are you winning in Strikers?

Posted by: Jonathan on February 11, 2009 03:55 PM

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