September 24, 2008

Sub Prime Mortgages

A good friend of mine sent me this excellent explanation of the bad loans and how we got here... I will warn you the language is a bit... salty, shall we say? But it's completely hilarious and informative. Check it out here. (It's a PDF download.)

Posted by jason on 05:54 PM | Comments (2)

July 08, 2008

I think I'm a shoe-in...

For the George Michael look alike contest... if I can find where they're holding it.

Photo 1263.jpg

PS. If you don't know who George Michael is, I'm much older than you (or, I guess, much younger.)

Here's a clue.

gm.JPG

Posted by jason on 09:00 PM | Comments (9)

May 31, 2008

I don't even know what to say....

But this is hilarious.

2386684684_9db54ab0e2.jpg


And in honor of our grand tradition of funny animated gifs:

bull-fight-gone-bad.gif

FatGuyLovein.gif

happybakers_small.gif

52oep8m.gif


Posted by jason on 01:27 AM | Comments (1)

April 02, 2008

Stuff Christians Like

I have to say that I'm finding this weblog, called Stuff Christians Life, hilarious. Check it out, it does a great job skewering all the idiosyncrasies of churchy people.

Posted by jason on 04:21 AM | Comments (4)

February 20, 2008

Grudge Match (part 2)

Elany arts won. It was a great game that ended with a score of 5-4 in our favor. The game was nonstop action and they had some good players. Their goalie was incredible (and a super nice guy too) and the rest of the team was relentless about trying to steel the ball from us. It was a tough game but we still pulled off a win.

I haven't heard back from Jade Tree yet so I sent a follow up email:

"Well, Elany Arts won. It was a fantastic game with great sportsmanship all around. We enjoyed playing your team. So, do you still have a copy of the record, or should The Look Machine send another?
Collin"

Also I wanted to mention that a lot of the people who came to see the game were pretty nervous / riled up about the email I sent. Apparently EVERYONE who came to see us had read the email by the time the game started. I thought that it was pretty clear that I was joking but I am sorry if I offended anyone or made you think that I would actually try to pick a fight with an entire soccer team.

Posted by collin on 09:34 AM | Comments (5)

February 18, 2008

Grudge Match (part 1)

Many of you probably know about the Elany Arts soccer team. We play in a competitive, indoor league in Delaware. Elany sponsors the team (hence the name) and a bunch of us play. The team is made up of friends. It is a lot of fun, and I have to say, we are not bad.

Many of you also probably remember The Look Machine's quest to find a good record label after we recorded our album. Well, one of the labels we "applied to" was Jade Tree Records. It just so happens that they sponsor a soccer team in our devision. They take their team very seriously. They write up all of the games on their site, and they generally make a big deal of their soccer team. I sent them this email today.

SUBJECT: Jade Tree United to be crushed in grudge match

Dear Jade Tree:

Tonight Jade Tree United will face Elany Arts. "So what makes this game different?" you may ask.

The Elany Arts soccer team has 3 members of DE band, The Look Machine, on the roster. The rest of the team is made up of friends / fans of the band.

The Look Machine was formed in DE over 5 years ago. They have played countless shows (some with other jade tree bands), built a large and dedicated fanbase, enjoyed radioplay on WSTW and other local stations, and most importantly, enjoyed every second of the ride.

When they had an album produced by Boysetsfire, they thought that they would send it to jade tree along with a press kit because they believed that they would be a good fit.

They never heard back and they followed the advice on your website. They didn't call and pester you about it. However, that doesn't mean that they have forgotten and it doesn't mean that for 50 minutes tonight, they won't take great pleasure in beating the daylights out of your soccer team.

Respectfully,

Collin Palkovitz

P.S. A proposal: If you win tonight, The Look Machine accept the silence. If Elany Arts wins tonight, you give the album another listen and let the band know what you think.

Posted by collin on 04:12 PM | Comments (17)

Benny Hinn Lets the Bodies Hit the Floor

This is hilarious...

Posted by jason on 02:14 AM | Comments (6)

January 02, 2008

Ice Swimming

You may be asking yourself, "Self, what do you think the palkovitz portion of the look machine has been up to?"

Ask no more. Watch and learn.

That, and I'm getting married on Saturday.

Posted by ian on 09:24 PM | Comments (7)

December 13, 2007

Leave the poor guy alone!

So, you remember the Farley-esque Youth Pastor who misspoke at a Youth Rally? The guy who accidently blurted out something that really shouldn't be said from the pulpit?

Well . . . he got punk'd.

These dudes came in pretending to be . . . never mind. Watch the video. It's a little long, but it's worth it in the end.


Youth Pastor FCC Prank - Watch more free videos

Posted by xerxes on 12:53 AM | Comments (2)

December 09, 2007

If taglines were honest

Some of these are really funny.

Posted by jason on 10:17 PM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2007

Our Shows will be Fine without Writers

This is pretty funny (bad language warning).

Posted by jason on 07:49 PM | Comments (10)

July 16, 2007

My Hands Are Bananas

When we traveled Europe with BSF, our German driver had a band. He played it for us one time.

This reminds me of it.

Posted by jason on 04:50 PM | Comments (4)

June 01, 2007

What a nice time in Europe

lovers.gif

What can I say, Brett and I got to be good friends.

Posted by jason on 04:46 PM | Comments (4)

March 19, 2007

Drew?

You have some explaining to do.

(Yes, I know she's my sister, but you live with her.)

What's going on here?

Posted by jason on 11:06 AM | Comments (31)

March 05, 2007

Funny Video


Please do try this at home!

Posted by ian on 10:59 PM | Comments (6)

January 27, 2007

Where it is possible to buy the jason latshaw?

I admit that I sometimes google my own name. And today when I did that, I found the oddest message board! What do you think is going on here? Some kind of generated spam? Anyway, I'm flattered, because it looks like I'm in high demand. Take a look, it's kind of hilarious.

Posted by jason on 02:06 AM | Comments (7)

January 26, 2007

The Evening Service - Real or Fake?

OK, so we need your help here. We've watched the video on the page, read the stuff written on the sites. . . and . . . .we're still not quite sure.

The song is called "The Bible Says," from a band supported by the "Love God's Way" ministry.

Is this a hoax? Please, weigh in with your opinions!

Posted by jason on 01:09 PM | Comments (15)

December 25, 2006

Those MAC vs. PC Commercials

My friend Matt sent me this picture. I enjoyed it, so I thought I'd share it with you. PC is finally fed up with all the dissing.
microsoftworth1000the_look_machine.jpg
p.s. It's only funny if you are familiar with the MAC add campaign.


Merry Christmas, Everybody. Enjoy the heck out of it!

Posted by shane on 12:11 AM | Comments (5)

December 12, 2006

Recipe for (a funny) disaster

As most of you know, I have been going through a rather intensive series of surgeries on my gums, teeth, and jaws. I have been rather heavily medicated to numb the pain for quite a while now. All of my medications are prescription drugs that have been given to me by a doctor, but they are having quite a strange effect on my mind.

Keep in mind that I do not do drugs at all. Foreign substances affecting my consciousness is not something I am used to, and I am not a big fan. That being said, I am usually very confident in my mental abilities and I rarely question the reality of something. The result... when I am under the influence of mind altering substances, I don't stop to wonder if something is real. I just act like everything is normal.

For example, Last night I got a Text message from Drew replying to something I had sent him earlier. At the same time, I got a Text from Justin Williams (the bassist from Gracer). He was asking about a show that I am setting up. I recently gave him all of the details, so his message that said "any luck with that show?" seemed rather odd to me.

Without questioning it, I called him this morning to clear things up. He answered and was like "hey man, what's up?"

We chatted for a few minuets and then I said "hey... about that text you sent me last night, I think that I already sent you all of the details."

He was quiet for a few seconds and then said "Um... text? I don't remember sending you a text."

I said "Yeah last night when you asked me about the show in January."

He was quiet again and then said, "Yeah... I don't think I sent you a text message man. I have all of the details for that show." He then added, "Well, I was drinking a little bit last night, so I guess I could have sent you something without remembering it, but I don't think so."

I didn't really know what to say. I had a very vivid, word-for-word, memory of the message. I just said "yeah I am taking a pretty heavy dose of codine, so maybe I just imagined it" We both had a good laugh and then hung up.

I was thinking to myself "man, he must have been wasted." Just to reassure myself, I checked my text messages from last night. In my inbox... one message from Drew... Nothing else.

Here is another medicinally induced experience I had recently. The day of my surgery (when I spent 2 straight hours on Nitris) I had, of course, taken my maximum dosage of my pain killers. I woke up the next morning and sat straight up in bed. I had a golden revelation. The thought struck me with an astounding clarity and brilliance.

I thought to myself, "we really need to start selling The Look Machine's album in powdered form just like Gatorade!!!" It was such an incredible idea. I mean, if Gatorade can do it, why not us? I had this vision of myself at a show next to somebody drinking a refreshing glass of water. I coolly tore the top off of a single serving paper packet of instant TLM and poured the the powder into the glass of the guy standing next to me. Instantly his drink turned purple, fizzed up, and "As Much" started playing. It was amazing.

Thinking that I literally had the greatest breakthrough in the music industry, I excitedly hurried out to tell Linds. As i was thinking of how to explain it, the realization that I was simply insane and not brilliant seeped in with crushing disappointment.

You have to admit though, an Econo-Sized tub of instant TLM would be a great gift for the holidays.

Posted by collin on 01:02 PM | Comments (5)

December 11, 2006

Stop Motion Goodness

This is perhaps one of the best pieces of stop motion work I have ever seen. I cannot even imagine the time that went into making this.


Tony vs paul
Uploaded by loranger

Ladies, there is a shot of a good looking guy in tighty whities. Consider yourself warned.

Posted by collin on 11:38 AM | Comments (7)

December 04, 2006

Hate to the Ears: An Amazing Review

An online music review site,Indie In-Tune, was kind enough to write a review of our album. I have to say, it's a really amazing review, and definately worth your time to read.

For those of you with no attention span I'll go ahead and bold some of the more interesting parts.

The Look Machine is a slow love song band, whose lyrics, acoustic and plugged in guitar riffs, miss when it comes to wooing the ladies, and their melancholy approach, does a fully fledged spring board, head first dive in to an empty pool.

The songs I heard didn’t come off great, they’re a band that should go in a different direction then the one there heading towards. There slow with out melody or harmony. The lead singers voice and the way the rest of the band come in behind him are off balance, there two different types of ingredients that shouldn’t be mixed.


During there song “As Much” they have an acoustic guitar playing beside a amplified guitar, it doesn’t make sense and its hate to the ears. If they stuck to one style, with out being to brilliant for themselves, they would be a deceit emo/rock band. But the crooning, with what the rest of the band is doing, doesn’t have a rhythmic feel and falls short of being what they want to be, which is good.

There song “falling behind” is a decent rock song with the guys on the instruments totally owning, they come together better as a band with this song. The lead singer sounds better with the type of music that’s going on behind him. They have a better fit with straight rock.


The band The Look Machine is spreading them selves too thin, they need to concentrate on what direction they want to go and stick with it, rock, emo or folk. They wouldn’t be that bad and the lead singer wouldn’t come off as sounding tone deaf or off pitch.


The band consists of three brothers and two best friends. Ian, Collin and Shane Palkovitz. They play guitar, drums and back up vocals. The other two best friends, Jason Latshaw is the lead vocalist with their other buddy, Drep Copeland, playing bass and lending his voice on the songs. They’re from the Philly area. They started the band in 2003 in the attic of one of the Palkovitz brothers. They’re from a small community and the band members have known each other since childhood.


Overall if they stuck to one genre, they would have more room to grow as artist and musicians. They sound scattered and unsure in certain aspects of where their true talent lies, rock. If they head in the direction of Pearl Jam, old Sound Garden or other centralized rock bands, they would push past mediocre and people would want to hear them play.


For more information on the bands tour date’s, CD purchases, and other miscellaneous information, you can go to their website, www.lookmachine.com. They have a MySpace account but there having trouble with the site. They should have it up and running shortly.

Posted by ian on 12:20 AM | Comments (26)

November 08, 2006

The Grossest thing I ever Ate

When I was little I ate a hamster turd. I remember it all very clearly. I was playing with my hamster, a fine chap named Fuzzy, in a lincoln log town I had built. It was something like an old Japanese horror movie. Fuzzy waddled his large fuzzy self all around the town destroying every fence and building I had construced (for that very purpose of course). I had been feeding him, and I saw what I thought was a sunflower seed. I picked it up and popped it in my mouth. I knew by the way it smooshed in my teeth that it wasn't a sunflour seed. I learned by looking around that it was one of many fresh turds lying about the ruined town.

Well... that wasn't the grosest thing.

I ate my boogers until shortly after my 18th birthday. It's not that I particularly loved the way they tasted, I think I liked the shock factor of it all. I could instantly horrify almost anyone. Those I didn't gross out I formed a special bond with. Me and a few three years olds really had something deep in common. I also liked rebelling against such an established social law. I was not going to let society tell me what I could and couldn't do. Besides, I reasoned, it wasn't that gross. I was just moving something a couple of inches from the nostril to the mouth. It was inside of me in the first place, I was just moving it.

Laura didn't agree. About three years ago she put her foot down and said it had to stop. "You know your body expells those for a reason. You're eating your body's own excrement" Whe was a nursing student, a health care professional, for crying out loud! How could I argue with her. I am very proud to tell you all that I am about to celebrate my third aniversary of booger sobriety. I am a changed man.

If you're grossed out, just stop reading now. It doesn't get any prettier... or tastier.

One time on a dare I tried to eat a live grasshopper. It wasn't a small little hopper or a cricket. It was one of those giant dudes with wings and can spit orange tobacco juice. I had five dollars to win and my dignity to defend so I popped him right in my mouth. I figured one or two chews and I'd swallow him mostly whole. Everything changed when he started kicking me. He kicked my cheeks, my tongue and finally he kicked my lips and a great big, spiky leg stuck out of my mouth. I was grossed out, and horrified. I felt totally cruel, and maybe a little bit nauseous. I spat him out and let him go free.

That was way gross, but I didn't technically eat him.

I've eaten canned brains, roadkill deer, the disected heart of a cow, milk and lemon juice cocktails, fish eggs from a dirty pond, and a live minnow. I count all these as delicacies when compared to the other thing I ate.

I believe that now you have all come to recognize me as somewhat of an authority on gross things to eat. I trust that you will believe me when I tell you about what was hands down, the grossest thing that has ever crossed my lips.

I went on a family vacation to Florida a couple of years ago and we visited the everglades. It was a pretty sweet trip. Shane and I caught an aligator, we went snorkeling with my mom and a school of barracudas, ate some delicious key lime pie on Key West, and rode one of those super fast fan boats around the everglades.

One day we were hiking around some trails in the everglades when Shane and I spotted an orange tree. We climbed it and picked a fresh, wild orange right off the branch. It was beautiful! So ripe, totally organic. I peeled and bit into it... It was like somebody kicked me in the teeth. I chewed it up, it was like somebody pulled my tongue out. It was horrible!!! There are no words for how horrible this orange was. It was the most bitter, and the mos sour thing I have ever tasted. I have no explanation. It was ripe, it was fresh, it was orange... All I have to say is, if you ever find a wild orange, pass it up. Even if you are starving.

Ps. What's the grossest thing you ever ate?

Posted by ian on 11:28 PM | Comments (15)

November 06, 2006

One Bank

When you work in a big corporation, you quickly realize that there are a group of people who take it way too seriously. . . this would be exhibit A.

This is honestly one of the saddest things I've ever seen. U2 has to be excited to hear this. He's got a pretty good voice. . . and he looks like he's actually. .. into it. Dude, you're selling credit cards. You've got to lighten up a bit here.

This is a song, set to U2's One, sung to celebrate the merger of Bank of America and MBNA.

Posted by jason on 09:19 PM | Comments (15)

October 06, 2006

Phisoderms

Dscn1144.jpg

300.jpg

Posted by xerxes on 03:18 PM | Comments (1)

September 24, 2006

The Amazing Little Man

I would kill for this kind of stage presence.

Posted by jason on 12:11 AM | Comments (3)

September 02, 2006

Old School

My friend Bri sent me this. I WISH we got to print cassettes, I miss the old things. Actually .. . I kind of miss CDs too, I don't really buy those either (I LEGALLY download 90% of my music and buy the occassional CD).

cassette.jpg

I remember, the REALLY cool tapes were clear. .. so you could see the actually spools inside. But then the text always got wiped off of those things.

(For those 14 year olds out there that don't know what "cassettes" are, I apologize.)

Posted by jason on 10:41 PM | Comments (4)

August 29, 2006

The Trapped Telemarketer

You know what would be fun? Having a special line for telemarketers that just keeps playing loops of a person sounding interested in the offer and seeing how long the telemarketer talks to the loops.

See what I mean?

Posted by jason on 09:05 PM | Comments (3)

August 28, 2006

The Wizard of Oil

The photoshop jobs in these pictures are pretty hilarious.

underradar2.jpg

Posted by jason on 10:12 PM | Comments (3)

August 06, 2006

Thank you Jason Jaz

For showing me the dynamic HA HA image generator.

hahashow.php.jpg

Posted by jason on 08:07 PM | Comments (7)

August 03, 2006

I don't know why I think this is so funny.

But I do.

hahaimusingtehinternet-4228.jpg

Posted by jason on 11:33 PM | Comments (3)

July 17, 2006

The Worst Company Web Addresses

Somebody wasn't thinking quite right. . ..


The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

taken from here.

Posted by jason on 11:10 AM | Comments (3)

June 23, 2006

Funny GIFs

As most of you know, Jason and I work together. Because we do graphic design, we are on computers all day every day. When you spend that much time online, you tend to run across some interesting stuff. Recently we have started collecting funny GIFs (animated images). Here are some of our favorites. Feel free to add links to other funny stuff.

ewak.gif

Click the link below to see the rest.

littleleaguepull.gif

AmateurKipling-35bf396f8eecd3d55fa7761604da60b9.gif

matrix.gif

outofnowhere.gif

redbull.gif

ride.gif

turtle.gif

workout.gif

tom.gif

miss.gif

Posted by collin on 12:47 PM | Comments (22)

June 04, 2006

The Horrible Cook

Here is one of my finest home videos.

(here is the direct link)

So, how do you like it? Critics, now is your time to shine.

Posted by shane on 12:19 AM | Comments (8)

June 03, 2006

Revenge of the Old Band Member

Take this Chris Fraser. We'll see who is the true metal rock legend in this band!

For those of you who don't know, I have just been kicked out of the band! Why, you might ask? Because I am a "finger picking sweet boy."

This news hit me hard. I mean, I've poured all of my soul into this band. Every sweet lullaby, every gentle guitar riff, every soft and smooth melody from my tender heart. I know I can rock with the best of them. I had to prove to my old band mates that I was what they wanted. I had to convince them beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was hard rock to the bone.

So... I got a stylist.

IanStylistAngry.jpg
Of course, she was not happy with my normal look. "You're more redneck than is natural," she said. "My grandmother could rock harder than you!"

IanStylistWorking.jpg
She got to work with a deadly efficiency. The beard hair started flying from my face.

IanCoolStyle.jpg
As you can see for yourself, it was no small transition.

IanSuperCoolStyle.jpg
We started trying new styles, and I started to look stunningly good, startlingly attractive, and surprisingly hard.

IanMustacheStyle.jpg
Who is the metal monster now? Axel Rose would fall at my knees, Van Halen would quiver before me. But still, we weren't finished. Only perfection would be acceptable, pure rock perfection.

IanFinalStyle.jpg
Finally we reached the goal. Take that Metal Mullitia. You have been outstyled, outrocked, and put in your place. And to you, my old band mates, I don't need your pretty little ditties anymore. I have rock to make.

Posted by ian on 12:38 AM | Comments (6)

May 24, 2006

A New Band Member

We recently took a good long critical look at ourselves, examing our music, our stage presence, our style. We decided that we were definitely missing something major. We needed "more pure rock god" swagger, more axl rose-style bad boy in your faceness. Quite honestly, we needed someone with the ax-wielding chops that our finger picking sweetboys couldn't muster.

I'd like to introduce you all to our new band member, metal rock legend Chris Fraser. He was a headbanger before it was cool to be one, and continues to be one long after it's lost its coolness.

axlrose.jpg

headbanger.jpg

metalrocklegend.jpg

PS. Sorry Ian, it's been great dude. . . but can you really blame us?

Posted by jason on 10:06 AM | Comments (21)

May 22, 2006

The Evolution of Dance

I'm a little offended that he didn't include the famous "Simper then it Seems" Shuffle. . . but this is pretty hilarious even so.

Posted by jason on 10:25 AM | Comments (7)

May 17, 2006

What Celebrity do YOU look like?

So, I was casually browsing my daily news and blogs, when I came across something interesting. It's a web site that you upload a picture of yourself to, and, using face recognition, it tells you what celebrity you look most. You need a picture of yourself looking forward to upload. Try it. it's fun. You can see what me and Jason's results were after the jump.

P.S. If you're on a mac, you need to use Firefox, not Safari.

Drewlookslike.jpg


And

jasonlookslike.jpg

Posted by xerxes on 03:56 PM | Comments (12)

May 16, 2006

What are the chances?

I guess I must know some real Office fans, because 2 of my instant messaging buddies used dinkin' flicka as their status messages.

dinkaflinka.gif

If you don't get this post at all, maybe you should start watching the best comedy on television?

Posted by jason on 05:12 PM | Comments (7)

May 06, 2006

What I do when I'm not Rocking with the Machine

ianastro.jpg

This is my side project. Space exploration.

Posted by ian on 10:43 PM | Comments (4)

April 14, 2006

Titanic Two: The Surface

This is going to be huge.

Jack is BACK!

Posted by jason on 03:40 PM | Comments (10)

April 03, 2006

Our Sympathies

Our friend Paul Odders broke his nose last night. He is probably going to need surgery to fix it. He was playing basketball and apparently ran face first into a metal pole. In case you were wondering, metal poles are not soft and don't have very much give. Take a look at the picture of the damage to Paul's face after the link (not for the faint of heart).

Click the picture for the full size :)

paul_odders_nose.JPG

OUCH!!!

Posted by collin on 02:18 PM | Comments (11)

March 06, 2006

Sexiest Band in Philadelphia

So after the show at the North Star Bar last night, we received the biggest honor a band can ever dream of. We have been officially named the sexiest band in philadelphia. Click below to see a poster of us in all our glory as well as some individual glam shots (click the images to see a bigger version of each one).

lookmachine_sexy.jpg

We also got our pimp names from an online pimp name generator. Here we are at our very best

Jase (aka: Macktastic latshaw Large)

jasesexy1.jpg

jasesexy2.jpg


Drew (aka: Pimp Daddy D. Dogg)

drewsexy1.jpg

drewsexy2.jpg


Shane (aka: Ghetto Fabulous palkovitz Sweetness)

shanesexy1.jpg

shanesexy2.jpg

shanesexy3.jpg


Ian (aka: Bishop Don I. Flava)

iansexy1.jpg

iansexy2.jpg


Collin (aka: Dopetastic palkovitz Rock)

collinsexy1.jpg

collinsexy2.jpg

sexycollin3.jpg

sexycollin4.jpg


Chad, our guitar tech (aka: pimptastic chad dazzle)

chadsexy1.jpg

chadsexy2.jpg


Josh, our waterboy (aka: Mr. White Chocolate J. Dawg)

joshsexy1.jpg

and finally... josh the holy mountain

joshtheholymountain.jpg

Posted by collin on 09:13 PM | Comments (18)

February 21, 2006

Kind of funny.

For a fun Look Machine Surprise visit this site.

Note. it's funny.

Other Note. Viewer discression is advised. There are some disturbing inages here.

Posted by ian on 01:03 AM | Comments (7)

January 18, 2006

hours and hours.

Okay.

With the upcoming recording of the full length album, I have been practicing like mad.
Hours a day, I have been drumming in my basement.
Breaking many sticks,
Bleeding much blood,
And very tired of sitting on that stool.

I have now gotten a desk chair with a pillow on it to replace my throne.

This next monday, we will (tentatively) start recording...


We will be doing these songs:

Falling Behind
Stop The Bleeding
Live Our Lives
"White Light" (title to be changed)

yea.

So, I was thinking of a way to describe both my past and next few days of drumming.
This is what I came up with:
me (shane) : drums :: this dude : computer

Posted by shane on 01:20 AM | Comments (4)

December 23, 2005

Free Download on iTunes

The Chronic-WHAT-cles of Narnia is a free video download from iTunes.

Thanks, Saturday Night Live and Apple!

Posted by jason on 01:07 AM | Comments (4)

December 20, 2005

The Chronicles of Narnia Rap from SNL

narnia.jpg

I don't know if anyone caught last weekend's SNL, but since I am a Jack Black fan I had to watch it.

It was actually one of the best episodes in recent memory. I haven't actually laughed out loud while watching Saturday Night Live in quite some time, but their Chronicles of Narnia rap just had me laughing all by myself like a crazy person. I thought I'd share it with all of you. Listen to the words, they are very funny. And it's not all about Narnia. It's just kind of about a Lazy Sunday and all these things these dudes do.

The Chronic - What? - Cles of Narnia!!!

Update: Click for the lyrics to the song and a link to the MP3 file. (Yes, I may seem obsessed but come on this is really clever and funny.

Lyrics:

Lazy Sunday wake up in the late afternoon
call Parnell just to see how he's doing
hello what up pas! yo sandburg, whats rocking?
you thinking what i'm thinking? narnia! then it's happening!
But first, my hunger pangs are sticking like duct tape
let's hit up magnolia and mack on some cupcakes
No doubt, that bakery's got all the bomb frosting.
i love those cupcakes like mcadams loves gosling
2 no 6 no 12, bakers dozen!
i told you that i'm crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!
yo wheres the movie playing? upper west side dude!
let's hit up yahoo maps to find the dopest route.
i prefer mapquest! that's a good one too.
googlemaps is the best! true that! double true!
68th and broadway step on it sucker!
what you want to do chris? snack attack, motherfcuker!
what the chronic(les!) of narnia!
we love that chronic(les!) of narnia!
pass that chronic(les!) of narnia!
yo stop at the deli, the theatre is overpriced!
you got that backpack? i'm going to pack it up nice.
we don't want security to get suspicious!
mr pibbs plus red vines equals crazy delicious.
reach in my pocket and pull out some dough
girl acted like she never seen a $10 before!
it's all about the hamiltons baby
throw the snacks in a bag and i'm ghost like swayze.
roll up to the theate ticket buying what we're handling,
Call us Aaron Burr from the way we're dropping hamiltons
in our seats movie trivia is the illest!
question: what friends star starred in a movie with bruce willis?
we answered so fast it was scary:
everyone stared at us is awe when we screamed matthew perry!
quiet in the theatre or else it'll get tragic
we're about to be taken to a dream world of magic
what the chronic(les!) of narnia! (repeats)
we love that chronic(les!) of narnia!
pass that chronic(les!) of narnia!

MP3 link

Posted by jason on 01:14 PM | Comments (19)

December 16, 2005

The Look Machine PWNs the internet

We have been having trouble recently with something called bandwidth leaching. Basically, that is when people do an image search, steal pictures from our site, and put them on their site. The problem with this is that people leave the pictures on our server so all of their traffic and all of the bandwidth they use counts against us! The worst part is that when you view one of these leach sites, you would never the difference. It just looks like a normal picture on a web site, so all of that traffic was doing NOTHING good for us. We have been getting thousands and thousands of these kinds of hits per day and that was beginning to adversely affect our site. It was time to put the smack down. The smack came in the form of the pretty little picture below.

thelookmachine_pwn.jpg

With the help of our friend Joe (the code master) from Elany Arts, and the kind people at Ask Meta Filter we wrote a little piece of HTML code called an image redirect for our site. Basically, what this does is redirect every one of those leaching links to the "official fanclub member" picture above. The result was that we instantaneously had thousands of sites hosting our banner and claiming to be a part of our fanclub. It is hilarious. It is so seamlessly incorporated into these sites, it looks intentional.

Here are a few examples of the beauty in action:

1. Remember the "Happy Birthday" post I wrote back in the summer for Poncho? Well people have been linking to that birthday cake by the thousands. it seems that every time somebody wants to wish their cyber-pal a happy b-day on their myspace site or on their blog, they just take advantage of our server space and use that picture. Well, thanks to our fancy redirect, there are now thousands of people giving out "Official Look Machine Fanclub Member" birthday cards. I especially love the one below. It looks like the author just loves us so much that they thought they would wish their mom a happy birthday with a picture of... yours truly.
tlm_pwn_bday.jpg


2. Remember when Shane posted that picture of the squirrel with the machine gun? Well people keep finding that in the search engines and then linking to it and leaching our bandwidth. This guy below posted it as his "pic of the week" but now it just looks like he is a HUGE Look Machine fan and he is so proud of it that he posts it as his picture of the week.
Picture_of_week.jpg

3. I have no idea what this guy was saying, but now we are his new favorite American band!
tlm_german.jpg

There are thousands of these online now and it has been bringing us tremendous joy. I think it is only a matter of time, however, until some hapless person who doesn't know what they did gets extremely mad and writes us a nasty letter accusing us of hacking their site. If that happens, I will take great joy in reminding them that they brought it on their own head. That's what you get for being a thief. You really can turn any situation into something good... like free advertising.

Posted by collin on 02:28 PM | Comments (10)

December 06, 2005

Another video Update

Hello everyone.

Here is another video. It is quite funny, I think. (Ian is the wonder filmographer, filmer... camera man. whatever. he is the one responsible for capturing this timeless jewel on tape, or gigabytes or something...)

There may be another version with audio sometime soon on here.

Does anyone know any good free video uploading sites?

well, without further adieu, here be a picture link for this fantabulous video:

Posted by shane on 12:42 AM | Comments (7)

November 30, 2005

Ian... Give Thanks

Okay, so here is a video of Ian.
It's not filmed so well...
The audio got deleted when I uploaded it. I'll try to find a diffreent uploading site on a Google search or something. I want you all to be able to hear the audio...

(Click!)

Posted by shane on 02:23 PM | Comments (13)

November 15, 2005

Disposable Sock Update

Since we have become the web's foremost proponent of non-wasteful, affordable, bio-degradeable disposable socks, it seems only right that we also now be the largest international distributor of this product.

Today I received this email.

We are interested in importing disposable socks to our country South Africa. Please could you send us more info in this regard.
René Testa

OK, Rene, we'll start sending them as soon as we invent them.

Posted by jason on 02:43 PM | Comments (2)

November 08, 2005

A Glowing Review

We played at the ISA fall show last week and had a great time! Today I picked up a copy of the Review, which is UD's school paper and was happy to find an article about the show inside. Here is what they had to say about the show and us:

The first half of the show contained performances of traditional dances such as Nritya Jhankaar, Desi Dhamaka and a performance of Bhangra by a group from the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia...

After intermission, the band The Look Machine performed a series of traditional songs with a new-age feel.

Lookout Rolling Stone! There is a an up-and-coming rock critic headed your way.

Posted by ian on 11:40 PM | Comments (8)

November 03, 2005

"Pitch His Tents"

Wow. What do you get when you mix a very embarassing Freudian slip, a Christian Youth Rally, and a Youth Pastor with the energy of Chris Farley's Motivation Speaker? This.

ps. . . take a look at the poor guys eyes when he realizes what exactly he accidentally said.

Posted by jason on 05:13 PM | Comments (5)

October 31, 2005

Watch this Video

Trust me, this is really funny!

Posted by ian on 05:51 PM | Comments (2)

October 27, 2005

Serious Invasion of Privacy

As part of the Patriot Act. I thought it might be an urban legend, but I checked out my own license and viola! This is definitely scary. . .

This is upsetting, thought I should pass it along. Check your drivers license... Now you can see anyone's Driver's License on the Internet, including your own! I just searched for mine and there it was...picture and all! Thanks Homeland Security! Privacy, where Is our right to it? I definitely removed mine, I suggest you all do the same..... Go to the website and check it out. Just enter your name, City and state to see if yours is on file. After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement.*

Take a look at it now.

Posted by jason on 08:02 PM | Comments (4)

Chinese Back Street Boys

Step 1: Sign these two guys.
Step 2: Release their album.
Step 3: Get rich.

Posted by jason on 01:08 AM | Comments (13)

October 26, 2005

Emo Kids

The Look Machine Emo Kid.jpg

This is the Emo Song

. This site is worth visiting. It's just a one page site with a song that totally disses everything about emo kids. It cracked me up.
Warning: It may be slightly offending to some. sorry. I just thought that it was funny.

Posted by shane on 02:14 PM | Comments (90)

October 13, 2005

In honor of Ian's new tattoo

ian_palkovitz_sexy_truck.gif

Posted by ian on 10:18 PM | Comments (7)

My New Tattoo

In order to demonstrate my commitment to rock music I got a tattoo. This is my first one, so it was a big step for me. I love it, really.

You know, tattoos are permanent, but I'm pretty sure that I'll always be happy I got this one.

Ian_Tatoo_manly.jpg

You like it?

Posted by ian on 09:28 PM | Comments (5)

October 02, 2005

Check this out.

http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/awesome.htm/

Hate me?

Posted by xerxes on 03:44 PM | Comments (9)

September 24, 2005

Simple minds . . .

So, I can literally spend hours searching through the internet for funny videos. Stuff involving people falling, farting, and funny practical jokes are the best. Anyway, I saw some stuff yesterday that made me pee. It's just people falling, sometimes hitting their head, so if you don't like that kind of stuff, don't watch it.

People falling

and

People falling . . . involving slides

Laugh. It's ok.

Posted by xerxes on 12:42 PM | Comments (8)